10 Texts to Avoid if You Don’t Want to Make Him Uncomfortable
No matter how you feel about him, you don’t want to send the following message because it’s guaranteed to make him feel uncomfortable. Avoid these 10 texts at all costs if you don’t want to end up in the friend zone… or worse!
Do you think I’m cute? Did you really love me? Why did you send that text/email/etc.? If a guy doesn’t want to talk, don’t make him. If he doesn’t want to date, don’t make him feel uncomfortable. These are tricky topics and there’s no perfect way to broach them but please keep in mind that both of you will be better off if they’re discussed in person or via email rather than a string of texts or other types of messages where it’s easier for things to get misinterpreted.
There are certain texts you can send that make a guy feel uncomfortable. Here’s10 Text to avoid.
1) We need to talk
When you feel an issue has been brewing for a while, it’s best to just spit it out and be done with it. If you try to avoid talking about it or brushing it off as not being important, he will most likely feel more uncomfortable. A little advance warning might help him brace himself for what’s coming your way. This is especially true if he doesn’t know why you want to talk. If there are specific concerns that have arisen because of something recent, say so — such as I felt really weird at (the party) when we talked about… I wish we could talk about… Is everything okay? Do you have any insight? Can we plan some time in the next week to sit down and clear some things up?
2) I’m unhappy in this relationship
The best thing you can do for yourself is let him know you’re unhappy in your relationship. And, no, sending him a text of your own won’t make it better; you need to actually talk with him about it. I know it sounds frightening, but there’s no other way to solve your problem — and in fact, things are only going to get worse over time if you don’t say something. [How? Why?] Talk to him right away and try not to be angry or overly emotional when you do. Emphasize that what made you fall in love with him still exists within his character today.
3) You’re doing this wrong
The word don’t immediately puts someone on defense. The harshness of don’t implies that you think they’re doing something wrong, and might even put them in a position where they feel compelled to defend themselves. The first sentence alone instantly makes people feel uncomfortable, which kind of defeats your purpose. If you want someone not to feel uncomfortable, don’t say things that make them feel uncomfortable. It’s not hard, but it does require effort and consideration on your part.
4) We need to break up
This one is short and simple. He knows why you’re doing it, so there’s no need to explain yourself. Unless there’s a logistical reason that you can’t tell him in person (like moving across country), wait until you see each other face-to-face before ending things for good. It may seem like common sense, but there are some people who just have a hard time saying goodbye over text or email — they don’t want to hurt their significant other more than they have to. If he asks what went wrong, remind him of all your happy memories together instead of listing your reasons for leaving.
5) Is it something I did?
If you’re in a relationship, it’s natural for you to want your significant other to understand how you feel and what makes you tick. That said, saying something like you never listen to me! or I feel so lonely when I talk to you! can make him feel pressured or uncomfortable. It might not be something he did — he just might have a different way of looking at things than you do. Let’s face it: communication is hard work. Try asking questions instead of making statements to find out where his head is at first — it will save you both some unnecessary awkwardness later on.
6) Why didn’t you call me back?
It may seem harmless, but saying things like Why didn’t you call me back? or I thought you said you’d text me! can make a guy feel pressured and embarrassed. This is especially true when he’s not doing anything wrong — he might be busy or distracted and just hasn’t gotten around to responding yet. Instead of being accusatory, drop hints about how it would make you feel better if he responded sooner. Tell him that when he doesn’t respond immediately it makes you uncomfortable, which will be more effective than trying to guilt him into responding.
7) It’s over between us
While it may be tempting, avoid sending a text like we need to talk or let’s break up. These messages can seem forward, cause confusion and make things even more uncomfortable for both parties. Instead, wait until you two are face-to-face and use specific language like I don’t think we should see each other anymore. We had some good times together but I think it’s best for us to move on.
8) Stop ignoring me!
It’s OK to be direct when you have something important to say — but not when it comes across as aggressive. Sending a text like, Why are you ignoring me?! is bound to make him feel uncomfortable. This may also come off as somewhat possessive and/or insecure, which isn’t something men want in a partner. Instead of being angry or upset that he hasn’t been responding, wait until you can speak with him in person — give him some space while also showing that his opinion matters.
9) I hate this about myself
Some people prefer to be extremely vocal about their self-esteem issues, but that doesn’t mean you should comply. There are a million different ways for someone to feel good about themselves, but not all of them involve having someone else tear down their accomplishments. Also, avoid sending or responding to texts with phrases like You’re so much better than me/them/this or [Company name] is lucky they have you. It might seem like a compliment at first glance, but when it comes from your partner it can put unnecessary pressure on your relationship. If he feels uncomfortable with these types of compliments, don’t feel pressured into saying them and watch how his attitude towards himself improves over time as a result.
10) Don’t you care about my feelings?
It’s pretty difficult for a guy to respond no in a way that makes him look good, so when he gets texts like these, he typically just doesn’t reply. Also, asking why he hasn’t texted can put him on edge and make him feel like you’re interrogating him. If you really want an answer — and are willing to hear a less-than-flattering response — try asking more casually: Hey, I know it’s your busy season at work. Do you think we could grab drinks later in December? (See more about how men think about dating here .)
To ensure he doesn’t feel uncomfortable, try sending a message that opens with a compliment and transitions into something light-hearted. Of course, in some cases, it’s best to keep him guessing…but not if you want him around for longer than an hour. Instead of a generic text like I’m bored, try using messaging as an opportunity to flirt and tease him, but do so strategically by remaining cool and not too direct. He needs to know you’re interested without feeling threatened or put on the spot. If all else fails, send him a flirty selfie (as long as there’s no chance someone else will see it). That way he can look forward to more quality time with you…in person..
